Love is a Battlefield Because of Reality TV

My last two blogs have touched on the subjects of gender portrayals in the media.  I’ve discussed how much the media influence our views, of masculinity, femininity, beauty, and desirability, but what about the media’s influence of how men and women relate to one another? Do the dating reality shows we watch have an impact on our views of dating, relationships, and monogamy?  I say yes, absolutely.

Many reality shows focus on dating relationships.  It all started out with ABC’s, “The Bachelor.” This was a show that featured a young man looking for love.  ABC brought 25 beautiful and accomplished women on the show for him to choose from.  After this, the idea snowballed, and now we have a whole slew of reality shows that feature a person trying to find a match.  “Tila Tequila”, “Rock of Love”, “I Love New York,” and “Flavor Flav” are examples of the many shows of people supposedly looking for love.

The problem is that these so called hopeless romantics never seem to find what they’re looking for, so they continue to come back season after season.  They promise to love one person, and then for one reason or another it doesn’t work out, and they’re back at square one.

A smart viewer would realize a show like this is only for entertainment purposes, but many people seem to be effected by these shows and think this is how real life is.  I look around my college campus and I see people taking relationships so lightly I have to wonder why they are even in a relationship in the first place!

A lot of my friends play mind games with their boyfriends, change boyfriends often, and cheat on the ones they have.  It’s as if a relationship means nothing.  It’s all about convenience.  When the person isn’t around, anything goes, and there are plenty of fish in the sea.

I truly believe that these reality shows give the impression that relationships are for temporary entertainment.  They suggest that there are so many possible matches out there, why should anyone settle for just one?

Shows like these even glamorize rejection.  It’s always a dramatic moment when the person in love gets rejected.  Sometimes, the slighted one is the person running the show.  Sometimes the person running the show hurts others.  Either way, the moment when it happens is usually very entertaining.  All is usually well.  The rejecter continues to play the field, and the person who is rejected finds someone new very quickly.

The problem is, in real life, it’s never so cut and dry.  In reality, feelings are involved and people get hurt.  I’ve seen this happen way too many times.  Two people will be in a relationship.  One is really falling for the other, thinking they are creating something solid.  The other one is just playing a game.  The game player hurts the vulnerable one, and then continues on this series of breaking hearts.  The vulnerable one never seems to lose this vulnerability, because they always feel the cycle will continue to happen in the future.

This is why people say, “Love is a battlefield.”  You never know what you’re getting.  You never know who is genuinely looking for love or who is simply playing games to occupy their time.

When people are brainwashed by these silly reality shows, I just have to wonder, when will they come to a point when they think enough is enough.  Will they ever want to settle down and be genuine?  Will they ever stop playing mind games?

I just think that true love and TV doesn’t usually mix.  Of all of the seasons of “The Bachelor,” the process of finding love has succeeded for only one couple.  Maybe that one was meant to be, but usually when people are bombarded with choices and competition, it doesn’t work out.  When viewers tune into these shows and then try to create similar dating situations in their own lives, the effects can be disastrous and devastating for the people they choose to date.

I don’t think there is anything wrong with casual dating or even dating more than one person at once.  I do think there is something wrong when a person tricks another person into thinking something is more serious than it is, or when they trick someone into thinking that person is the only one they have eyes for.

People need to realize love is not a game.  Love is not a show.  Love is something special that happens between two people who are both ready for it.  As long as people have the mindset that they will never settle down and they are just loving for the sake of convenience and attention, the relationship is doomed for failure, and a destructive pattern becomes continuous.

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